


Warmth

by someonestrangelikeme



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode 2x12, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 03:05:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11199159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someonestrangelikeme/pseuds/someonestrangelikeme
Summary: "Hold me in this wild, wild, world'Cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can beAnd in your heat I feel how cold it can get."Magnus seeks Alec for comfort. (post 2x12)





	Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't think I'd write a reaction fic after this week's episode but after reading so much amazing ones I decided to give it a go.  
> This is unbetaed and English is not my first language so all mistakes are mine ! Title and summary are from 'Warmth' by Bastille.  
> I hope you'll like it ! Enjoy !

“Mama ! Mama, no !”  
Magnus woke up panting, feeling disoriented for a moment. His sheets were sticking to his skin uncomfortably, soaked with sweat. He was used to this now. After getting his body back from Valentine there hadn't been a nightmare-free night. It had been a few weeks now but he never managed to sleep through the night. He had tried many things to help with this but even sleeping potions were inefficient. He was awfully tired but every night was the same. He spent the evening pacing in his living room, unable to get himself to go to bed, no matter how exhausted he felt. He was afraid to go to sleep. He didn't want to relive the memories he knew would haunt him in his sleep. When he finally got to bed, he laid there for hours staring at the ceiling. Exhaustion always got the best of him and he fell into a restless sleep, filled with nightmares until he woke up, screaming, a few hours later. It had been years since he had last had such nightmares, and even if he was used to work with little sleep, he couldn't go on that way. He was tired, tired of being unable to rest, but mostly tired of seeing images he had tried to wipe from his memory.  
Magnus automatically reached over to the other side of the bed , hoping to find a body to curl up to. His heart sank when he realized he was alone. Alexander didn't share his bed anymore, at least he hadn't spent the night with him in the last few weeks. The shadowhunter had tried to reach him, to convince him he could help him get better. Magnus was grateful for everything his boyfriend did for him. Alec still spent every free moment of his day at the loft, supporting Magnus and trying to take the pain away. But when the night came, Magnus always asked him to leave. He needed to face his nightmares alone. At least that's what he thought. Night after night he couldn't help but wonder if he was right. Each nightmare was worse than the one before and each time he woke up screaming his first instinct was to reach for his lover. He had thought he was strong enough to heal on his own. Alexander was busy enough with the Institute and Magnus knew he didn't sleep much either. The shadowhunter needed as much rest as possible in order to be effective on his missions. Magnus didn't want to be the reason for his boyfriend's lack of sleep. He didn't want him to take risks by working without resting enough. He didn't know what he would do if Alec were to get injured at the moment.  
This time though, he didn't hesitate much before reaching for his phone on the bedside table. He dialed Alec's number immediately, not even bothering to check the time. He couldn't take it anymore, he needed Alexander's help to get through this.

\--- 

Alec started when his phone rang. He was on patrol duty with Jace and Isabelle for the night. It was pretty calm though, and if someone was calling at this hour of the night it was probably important. He got his phone out, answering immediately when he saw Magnus's face pop on the screen.  
“Magnus ? Is everything all right ?” he asked, the worry evident in his voice. After all that happened with Azazel and Valentine he was particularly protective of his boyfriend. He frowned when he heard what sounded like sobs on the other end.  
“Alexander, I...” he heard Magnus say, barely loud enough for him to hear.  
“I'll be there as soon as possible.” Alec didn't need to hear more to know Magnus needed him. He looked around to locate Jace and called on him.  
“Cover for me ? Please.” He waited to see his parabatai nod before leaving.  
He ran as fast as he could towards Brooklyn. He wasn't supposed to leave patrol like that, obviously, but he couldn't leave Magnus on his own much longer. He felt so guilty for what Magnus had to go through. He wanted to be here for him. Alec needed to show him he loved him. After all he had doubted him when he was in Valentine's body and he never would have forgiven himself if he hadn't managed to stop the execution just in time. Still, he felt like nothing he could do would ever be enough to make up for what he'd done. Magnus told him it wasn't his fault, that everyone would have doubted words that came from Valentine's mouth. The shadowhunter couldn't help but blame himself. Surely it wasn't normal to be unable to tell that the man you loved wasn't himself.  
Alec was still lost in his thoughts when he reached the loft. He paused at the door, tempted to knock. He thought of this place as home but he didn't know if he was still allowed to even think that now. Maybe Magnus wouldn't want him bursting through the door as he used to do. He shook his head quickly. He was stupid. Magnus had called him, he wanted to see him. He wouldn't mind.

\--- 

“Magnus ?”  
The warlock lifted his head when he heard Alec's voice. He was sitting on his bed, arms wrapped around himself to try and hold on. He wasn't crying anymore but the pain was still here, sharper than ever. He let out the breath he had been holding for a few moments when Alec entered the room. Worry was visible on his features and Magnus looked up to him. Alec hovered at the door for a few moments before crossing the room and sitting on the bed. He wasn't too far from Magnus but he still left him space. Alec was particularly careful not to overstep and invade Magnus's personal space. He held out his hand between them on the mattress and Magnus smiled faintly. Alexander was so gentle. He took the shadowhunter's hand and linked their fingers.  
“Are you all right ?” Alec asked.  
Magnus let his eyes fall to the floor, shuddering. He felt Alec tightening his grip on his hand. He stayed silent, leaving Magnus the time he needed to start talking.  
“I'm going to be okay, Alexander. These nightmares, they're awful. But it's nothing I haven't gone through before. What I need is time. I tried to forget these memories, to forget my mother's death. Forgetting is not that easy, unfortunately. But the pain fades with time. It did before and it will too this time.”  
Magnus straightened himself and looked Alec in the eyes. He smiled then. Not the bright smile Alec was used to but a tiny one. One that held reassurance and hope. Everything was going to be okay in the end. Magnus would get through this.  
“Whatever you need, I'm here,” said Alec, smiling in return.  
Magnus nodded and moved to lie down on his side. “Hold me,” he said.  
Alec's eyes widened with hope but the shadowhunter didn't say anything. He got up, removed his shoes and lied down behind Magnus, his torso against his back. He drew him closer with an arm around his waist and stayed silent. If Magnus wanted him to be his rock, that's what he would be.  
“The world is a cold place, Alexander. I've seen many horrors in my life and I believe I will see many, many more. But with the right person at your side, I believe it can get warmer.”  
Alec hold him closer, intertwining their fingers. Magnus closed his eyes, relishing Alec's presence. Maybe the shadowhunter wasn't his first love and maybe he wouldn't be his last, but right now he was there. He was the greatest love of his life, the one who made him forget the craziness of the world they lived in.


End file.
